Has the subject of marriage come up a lot lately? Does it seem like everyone is talking about when you should get married except you? And while you like the idea of an wedding, you're just not sure that you are ready to make that sort of life long commitment. But how do you know when is best?
While the average marrying age for men is 27 and 25 for women age shouldn't be the deciding factor in a decision to marry. Believe it or not the overwhelming feeling of soul searing love is not a good reason to get married either. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly and deciding if you are ready to get married should be well considered.
Of course, most couples look forward to that enthralling moment when one of them - still usually the man - proposes. However, before that time comes a couple should already have had deep discussions about important matters which will be central to their life together. After a decision is made to marry it may also be useful to have premarital counseling.
While there is no doubt that a wedding is a joyous event, it is important to remember that it is the beginning of a life together and so your planning needs to include time spent focussing on the relationship between you and your partner. Have you discussed your views on money? Do you agree about politics? What is your view towards family? It is these issues and the many others that arise over the years that will determine how your marriage fares. Counseling is a good way to broach these subjects in a safe and calm environment.
Sometimes it helps to take a step back and take stock of your relationship, to work out exactly where it is going. Don't think that you are being disloyal by taking time to reflect on whether your current partner is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Rather think of it as being healthy and mature approach. The last thing you want to do is launch into a situation that will eventually lead to disappointment.
When thinking about whether you are ready to get married think about the emotional support you receive from your might be mate. Consider too whether your beliefs on basic issues coincide - like where you will live, how you will live and your future career or family plans.
Getting married simply because your parents are dropping hints about how they can't wait to be grandparents, is unlikely to lead to a firm basis for marriage. A union of two people is just that, a relationship between a man and woman, and for it to work needs many components - love, faith, respect, understanding. Make sure all those elements are in place before you commit and you will be building a solid foundation for many years together. |
